Quirel
[ani5e8kl] 

A drinking vessel came to my residence a few days ago, finely formed and emblazoned with the name of a website I have high hopes for. And I can confirm that it is a most wonderful coffee cup.

Were this a coffee mug made by the Forerunner, the coffee inside would be altered by strange sciences for a maximally smooth flavor, and kept at the perfect drinking temperature for weeks at a time. And whenever I knock it off the table, it would perform an emergency slipspace jump back to the coffeemaker.

Were this a Covenant coffee mug, designed by one Ministry or another, it would be protected from harm by a bubble shield, which would leave the coffee only slightly irradiated. The mug itself would be crafted in the image of those holy drinking vessels, and be running 700-year-old software copied from an Ancilla's threat recognition protocols.

Were this a coffee mug built by the Covenant for the Jiralhanae, it would have at least one bayonet and be forged from a uranium alloy, just so it would have the proper balance when you club someone to death with it.

A coffee mug made by the UNSC, now that would be a thing. It would originally have been a bulletproof cup designed for select issue to special operations units, but the outbreak of the Covenant war would have prompted the UNSC to coat the outside with a refractive alloy. Over the years it would have been upgraded with more features to better prosecute the war. A computational layer would have been installed to house a tactical AI, and the handle replaced with a hardened uplink to signal units in orbit, and an ablative sleeve for when the cup needs to be deployed from orbit. And at the end of all that, I imagine that the capacity would have dropped from ten ounces to a measly six.

This cup is none of those. It is instead a humble ceramic cup, and exceedingly good at the job it was designed to perform.

Thank you to Adv Jones and Mendicant Bias for the free gift! Here's to another year of fine fiction and fine coffee!
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Gob
Good to see your coffee is black, which is absolutely the correct way to drink coffee. 
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FevaMan
A fine container for a pure and soothing drink. By the rings.
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